Like a boat being battered about in the open sea amidst a raging storm, we too are sometimes caught rocking about in our own ocean of uncertainty and doubt. In times like these, it helps – just like the battered boat – to have an anchor.

We need an anchor that we can hold onto when there are challenges. The reason we need anchors in general is so that we will not be swayed or distracted when challenged. We should be able to drop our anchor into the troubled sea to stable ourselves and remind us of certain things. In this way, an anchor is a sort of ‘point of reference’.

One such anchor is trust. With a friend or partner in life, it is easy to get through each day without much trouble. But when conflict or uncertainty arises, without the anchor of trust, there will be nothing to which you can both cling. Let me explain with an example. Think about two police partners. They go in for a raid and they ‘have each other’s backs’. One sees what’s ahead, and the other watches out for what could be coming up from behind. They trust each other, so if one partner yells out “Duck!”, the other partner is not going to question why. They drop their trust anchor and they duck without question. This is important: to be able to trust someone not only in the good times, but also in the tough times, without question.

Another anchor is being able to trespass and not allow that trespass to become personal. If my friend is doing some wrong – perhaps they have a bad attitude at work and it is causing others to not want to work with him – then I would tell him, because I care about that person. My friend should be able to drop his anchor and believe me, even if he can’t see it for himself. If he is not able to do this, then he will resent me for pointing out something that is not necessarily positive about him. This could do damage to the friendship.

Please take a moment to ponder… Anchors are a way for us to rely on ourselves and on others. They are an important part of relationships and a vital part of our own development. If someone tells you something that may be hard to hear, you should not be angry with them. You don’t get angry at a mirror when you look at it and it shows you that your hair is messy, now do you?

Sincerely,

Joseph Bismark
Group Managing Director
QI Group